This title is pretty damn good and you’ll get it when you’re done reading, what a treasure I am.
How is everyone doing after my Earth-shattering announcement yesterday? Some excited, some disappointed, many confused, some aroused? Probably not. I’m doing what’s best for me and that’s the end of it so let’s move on.
Yesterday was a pretty fun day, it would have been nice to have a copilot on the journey but we’re making the best with our time. We? What am I talking about? There’s no “we” it’s just old Matty McFly out here. When I was bored in my first AirBnB last week I booked a ticket to see a live podcast. For those of you who do not listen to podcasts, they are long form radio style shows that you can download on itunes. The podcast in question is “Doug Loves Movies” where comedian and cinefile Doug Benson hosts a movie trivia show with himself and other comedians. Sometimes actors or film makers make an appearance to promote a project or just fuck around with Doug. The show is hosted in the back room of a comic book shop on Sunset boulevard called Meltdown Comics.
Doug loves movies.
They record some of my favorite podcasts in this room.
Amazing painting inside Meltdown Comics, Killer Mike!
It’s a great comic shop and serves many purposes for the comedy community. The show was a blast but the chairs were insanely uncomfortable and now I’m in pain the next day (I’m getting old). The show usually lasts about an hour and a half, once it was over I was starving. I hopped in my car and headed to a place called “Birds” which was suggested by a good friend who has guided me throughout my whole trip. Birds is a Notorious Alfred Hitchcock themed restaurant with amazing food and decor.
I Confess, I felt like a Psycho that it took me so long to go there. I had a Suspicion I wold be Spellbound but it was a Frenzy of great dishes. The service started off a bit slow and I felt like saying Bon Voyage but by the time I was at the end of my Rope the waitress showed up. Can we see what I’m doing here? I’m using Hitchcock movies to describe my experience (they are capitalized for those playing along). I’m so clever, talented and lovable! Right? RIGHT?! Anyway, I was advised to try the fried pickles. I ordered the frickles (I didn’t come up with that but wish I did) and ate every single one of them. Holy smokes Dial M for mmmmm, yummy. See, I did it again. (Dial M for Murder is another Hitchcock movie, geez guys!).
After getting freaky with frickes, I got half a chicken with dipping sauces and some mac and cheese. All of it was incredible, I was so full that they’re gonna need to call me a Lifeboat to get me home. Yes, the Lifeboat one was forced but I’m not apologizing. “Hey Matt, did you dip any of that chicken in the mac and cheese?” That’s a really dumb question and you should be ashamed for asking it. Of fucking course I did! I’m getting hungry just thinking of it, it’s almost In and Out o’clock for old Matty pants. Perhaps I’ll go to Big Deans and get a burger there, catch the sunset. Awwww super romantic! Kidding, I’ll be alone and depressed I’m not accompanied by my favorite Bostonian Cali co-piolot, Ethan Norton. Ethan lived out here for years and lends a great balance of East/West coast mentalities and says funny shit a lot. Also one of my best friends on the planet.
I said Bon Voyage to Birds and headed back to Smithy’s place. Alight! Bon Voyage is the last one i’ll do (and that was the second time using it).
Parking was a bitch by Ben and Riquel’s but I finally found one, headed inside and scared the shit out of Riquel while she was cooking. Which is appropriate because I just got back from the master of suspense’s restaurant.
Wow Matthew, that sounds like a great day, are you maybe rethinking your escape? Two things; one, only my family members (usually the female ones) call me Matthew so relax on that shit. Two, no it has not. My love for California will never fade as a great place to visit BUT not my home. Boston is my wife and Cali is my side bitch (This is Ben’s hilarious quote). I always have a great time here but the plane ride home is usually the best part. I’ll explain because that might have come out strange. Almost every great moment of my life from fun times, getting laid, crazy nights, movies, concerts, adventures, getting sugar from a lady (yea, I said it twice but in a cooler way, sup ladies. sorry for saying “sup”). The best part of all those moments is the walk to the car (this is both literal and figurative so that’s clear). That’s my time alone to reflect on the experience, sitting in silence while bathing in the endorphins. Listening to the vibrations rattling through my ears and feeling the adrenaline wear off as I come back to reality. Those are my best moments, a post-credits scene all to my self (those scenes are called stingers. fun fact).
This week is bonus time and I’m going to enjoy it as much as I can. As for today (Monday), I haven’t done a ton but it’s still early. I caught up on New Girl (shit is going downhill on that show) watched Always Sunny reruns and got more Krispy Kreme, I only got two doughnuts this time. Don’t you dare judge me.
To be honest, I think I lost weight on this trip from stress (good it’s almost beach season, woot!). Yay or nay to the excessive parenthetical use? Rhetorical, they’re staying (get used to it. SEE!). I also was pretty heavy handed with the exclamat!on (look what I did here) points this blog. Oh well, this blog is solipsistic (sometimes I use big and obscure words so I sound smarter, dickhead move) anarchy.
As for tonight, It’s Ben and Riquel’s four year anniversary (congrats you two) so I’m going to make myself scarce while they “celebrate” and whatnot. I’m thinking maybe the aforementioned Big Dean’s then maybe a movie. We shall see. Thanks for reading folks.
Keep Smiling (even when you’ve had 5 doughnuts in less than 24 hours)
There weren’t enough pictures of me in this blog post so here is a stock Matt in a Suit pic. Impressive right?