First week at Emerson and other fun…and a gripe or two.

I really enjoy writing the blog and for the most part the feedback is positive, which makes me want to continue writing it. There is also another side of that coin which is all scratched up and shitty like Harvey Dent’s favorite prop. Some people assume since I put my business on front street that they know me intimately and are allowed to comment on my life or if they disagree with something. Those people are slightly off-base but I suppose I welcome it by doing this, fair enough. I’ve ALSO had many people criticize what a do and how I do it. Throwing typos in my face and sighting which post is better than the other. Constructive criticism is difficult for creative people (yes, I’m cocky/presumptuous enough to label myself creative) and it’s something that should probably roll off my back. I will say this, typos will happen allllllllll the fucking time here and by all means tell me what you like. This blog is just for fun and updates on my adventures. What I do NOT like is being told if one is better than the other or how I could improve what I do. If you have such great and bold ideas you can do your own shit, it’s really easy. Just go to wordpress and register then say a bunch of goofy shit and make sure your life is at least half-interesting.

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(here is a stock pic of me eating a hotdog at Fenway to break up the tension)

I’m not saying my story is the most captivating but it’s better than most. At least I paint it that way. It’s intensely difficult to put out a piece of writing to the public. When I was in undergrad at MassArt for film, I would hit play on my movies then hide in a corner blocking my ears because I was terrified of how people would react or judge to my work. Creating something is a product of who you are, so when it’s not received well it can hurt. But that’s part of the unspoken contract. I was a weak boy while in college and couldn’t face any rejection, that is not who I am today. I can laugh at flaming arrows hitting my castle walls and take constructive comments in stride. I will say to you folks who don’t dare put yourself out there and still attempt to cut people down, fuck right off (you are few and far between but I see y’all). I had someone once tell me I was “rude” to my readers but they apparently didn’t get the sense of humor of this dynamic. I hope I never come off as rude or dismissive, I LOVE you guys. The fact that anyone other than my dad and best friends read this blows my god damn mind.

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(stock photo of me looking relaxed to further ease the tension)

Fuck a gaggle of ducks, this was a downer way to start a blog. Sorry. I’m gonna need to right the ship and steer us towards Tortuga, buckle up. Wait, boats don’t have seat belts do they? Shit, ok grab some rope or something. I WOULD like to thank my friend Rose for saying extremely kind words about my blizzog, which means a lot to me because Rose is a creative genius. Rose is also about to become a mom and I’m so excited for her, she’ll be an amazing mama bear and that kid will be cooler than all of us! Thanks Rose! MOVING ON!

How many of you stuck around after that opening drama? Just dad? Oh hey Chip! I’m sure you’ll enjoy my tales of the past week, fill everyone else in if they ask. As of now I am still waiting for the contracts on me and Donnie Wahlberg’s travel show but he hasn’t been returning my texts. Perhaps he and his wife (90’s icon and medical genius Jenny Mcarthy) are discussing vaccinations and how they have eleven braincells between them but get to address the masses whenever they like, yay America. Fuck. Yeaaaaa, I can have serious opinions too, refer to the fist paragraph. Alright, back to the funny. Continuing with our Wednesday tradition BB and myself packed a cooler and went to the beach after work (this was a couple weeks ago now).

 

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The water is insanely warm which attracts sharks but I don’t give a fudge because I love to splash around. Alright, I care a little. Sharks are scary as shit but I’ve managed to avoid them this long so I’m confident one won’t kill me.

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(good god I’m sexy)

After the beach we hit up a Barcade in Salem called Bitbar. This place only has the older stand up games from the 80’s/90’s and that’s right in my wheel-house. They have Ms. Pacman, Mortal Kombat 2 (which I royally suck at but it was cool because combat is spelled wrong so fuck that game), Burgertime, and my favorireeeeeee, The Simpson’s game. After dumping quarters and sipping overpriced cocktails we got the hell out of there. I was still wearing my bathing suit and sand was migrating to areas where I’d prefer to keep it out of.

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(I lost at this pinball game in about one minute )

(notice the Simpsons game appears IN the game itself, fuccckkkk)

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(Harley, my love) Fun fact, Harley Quinn appears to have a tattoo that reads “lucky you” right above her treasure, not the first time I’ve seen that in my life. wink wink.

Thursday was the big day! After over a year of waiting I finally get to see Suicide Squad! I loved it despite it getting poor reviews. Don’t let poor reviews stop you from experiencing things, just go see it jerks. I could tell you all the reasons I liked it but I have too much to discuss. It was great in my eyes and my eyes are so dreamy and have perfect 20-20 vision bitch.

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Twins! P.S. sorry about touching Harley’s boob.

(here comes the important part!) Get ready.

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While we’re on the topic of movies, let’s talk aboutttttttttt MY FIRST WEEK OF GRAD SCHOOL! Oh man, I yelled that so loud I woke up my parents. Chip and Val are pisssssedddddd. I was extremely nervous about this whole thing, going back to school at age 33 and paying for it myself. Last Sunday we had orientation and a meet and greet dinner with everyone in the major and all the Emerson big wigs. From the moment I stepped foot in that conference room I knew I was in the right place. The head of the department is an amazing and knowledgeable woman whom i’m excited to learn from. All the students seemed really cool but I was still nervous. The dinner was great and I got to talk to my fellow students, they were awesome! They also had free beer but the selection was rough. I had a Carona (sans lime, yuck). Then I had a chance to talk to a few of the teachers who were amazing and cool as fuck. One of my teachers wrote on Batman the animated series! I’m beyond excited about this program and I’m going to work my ass off to make the best of it. Monday morning kicked us off for the first day of the next 2 years.

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(Rodneyyyyyy)

Ok, this program is the first of its kind that Emerson is offering and I’m excited to be a part of it. This is the first Film/TV writing MFA program ever offered and it’s a low-residency one. What that means is one week on campus in the beginning of each semester. First one in Boston, second in LA, Third in Boston and final semester in LA. The Boston residencies will be Film writing and the LA ones will be TV writing. After the first week of every semester the courses will be online. I have a lot to say about this week but it would come off as rambling so I’ll try to condense it. haha just kidding, you guys know I have no ability to condense myself while writing. So suck it. Monday made me realize the density of this program and I was terrified but ready for the leap. Tuesday we had a class with a two-time oscar winning screenwriter who I will not name but she was amazing. Beyond knowledgeable (obviously), honest and truly inspirational also a hard ass no nonsense blunt genius. She asked us to pitch a feature film and then write a 3-5 page scene from said  pitched feature, which was due the next day.

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(learnin’)

All of the students were put up in a hotel around the corner from the campus and originally I declined then realized that was foolish so Tuesday I asked if I could stay in the hotel. The head of our program kindly made it happen (which was so great of her to do). Tuesday night we got out of class at 10pm. Afterwards I drove home, packed a bag, had a beer, drove to my old apartment in Brighton to leave my car, took an Uber back to the hotel and around 12:30am I started writing. I was pleased with the result and got a couple of hours of sleep, yayyyyy. Wednesday was a really big day for me and I’m going to share a little bit of it. I met with with my (Oscar-collecting) teacher around 9pm and we went over my script. I won’t get into the details but it was great and one of the most creatively validating things of my life. Once the pressure was off the whole class decided to go out and have some drinks. We met up at the best dive bar in Boston, The Tam. The cheap beer flowed, stories exchanged and favorite movie debates rang throughout the narrow bar. After the Tam we headed to a Karaoke bar and belted out deep cut hits for an hour. After that we partied in one of our rooms in the hotel and saw a naked man in the adjacent building, so that was fun. Wednesday night was one of the best of my life and I have to thank Emerson and my incredibly fun and talented classmates. The rest of the week was great and I can’t believe it’s over. I learned more in one condensed week at Emerson than over half my time at MassArt (sorry). Perhaps it’s that I’m finally studying something that I’m passionate about so every class is a treat (oh shit! I’m a nerd now!). One night we had an optional 3 hour block to go over any writing sample with our classmates and we took full advantage. We sat in the lobby of our hotel with our laptops doing table reads of one another’s scripts and stayed past 11pm (over  hours). It was incredible, the concentration of talent in this program is indescribable. The notes were helpful, constructive and never negative. I am beyond excited about sharing the next two years with these 12 (counting me) people. Emerson Mafia for life. Week one is in the books and if i’m not around for the next couple years, I’m working on shit. Sorry. I will make time for my work, friends, family, this blog, fucking around but school is my top priority. Enough about school, moving on!

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(who shot ya?) That joke only works for old western fans AND Biggie fans, small intersection I know. Still gold.

Moving on! The show Stranger Things on Netflix is great and worth watching but you probably already have or heard it from all your friends. They are right, go watch it ya jerk.

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I got 2 new pairs of shoes in the mail and they are beautiful but subtle (unlike myself).

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I saw Big Lebowski on 35mm at the Mighty Coolidge Corner theater for their annual showing. Me and Powers got there nice and early to snag a good seat. They had bowling on stage and a costume contest. A woman dressed as Maude Lebowski won and made me realize that I need to find someone like that, a dame who will dress like Maude Lebowski and show it off proudly for strangers. The 35mm print was great and that film plays perfectly to a sold out audience (all the jokes hit harder).

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(Midnight Mark, master programer of the Mighty Coolidge)

IMG_6342(Maude)

I killed a spider with a nerf gun and documented it with multiple videos on my instagram, check my shit fool.

Caught a Piebald reunion concert with my man B and mended a friendship that experienced a strain a little while ago and I’m beyond relieved it’s back to normal, I won’t get stuck again. Great show, beer flowed and nostalgia was had by all!

(future father living out his own childhood)

Blink-182 was my favorite band growing up and they broke up because Tom was chasing aliens but has been replaced with Matt Skiba from Alkaline Trio (that’s a band). Fun fact, I once knew a dame with an Alkaline Trio tattoo but I forget who it was (I don’t really) and I forget how we met (psst, I remember that too). The old days of Boston were fun but sadly we all grew up. That was weird Matt, what did that mean by that? Don’t worry about it! So nosey. The show was a lot of fun, not their best but I had a blast. Rode down with Keegan and his lady, met my homegirl Nicole and partied with her and her hubby for a few songs. Then I got drunk and explored, ran into my buddy Matt (too many Matts). After the show it took us 3 hours to get out of the parking lot but I passed out at hour 2 I think. Sorry Keegan.

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That should catch us up on everything! sorry for the weird beginning but I had to get it off my chest. Maybe I didn’t? Who knows, I don’t keep much to myself and you’re here so I’m gonna tell ya! Thanks for reading kids! See ya next time! Also my birthday is coming up so I’ll expect well-wishes! (August 30th).

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(in case you were wondering what to get me for my birthday)

Keep smiling and keep you eye out for your breadcrumbs (figure it out).

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(cheesy but I adore it)

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Thank you sir…

 

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I’m basically famous now

I’m basically famous now

I promise I won’t let fame go to my head, I will stay grounded and never forget all of you. What the piss am I talking about? I’ll tell you! But that will have to wait until later. We’re exactly 3 weeks from classes starting and I’m starting to freak out slightly (just kidding I’m freaking out a shit load, is shit load one word or two? shitload. Yea, that’s better). I received and email with my summer reading and I already feel like a teenager again. I live at home, I’ll be a college student ummm wow that was depressing. Fuck. Let’s move past the school stuff because if I talk about it too much I’ll freak out and move to California for 3 weeks again. Don’t make me do it! What’s the next order of business? Ah yes the comedic recapping of my life since we last spoke. Grab a seat…not that one…that one is better…a little closer please…look me in the eye…ok, now we can begin.

An event rolled into town last week, a unique one. This event is certainly outside of the box so when Shane saw it was coming to Boston he scooped tickets as fast as he could. That event was Point Break Live!

image Now we all know the 90’s classic Point Break starring one Keanu Reeves and the unforgettable Patrick Swayze (rest in power Bodhi). Think of Point Break Live as a community theater production of the movie with more improvised comedy.  The best part of the show is they use an audience member to play the mighty Johnny Utah. Before the movie Shane, Keegan and myself procured ourselves some meatball subs from Pinocchio Pizza. According to Shane this is Ben Affleck’s favorite pizza spot and if Batman is eating there then I need to as well. The acquisition of meatballs subs is a tradition that Ethan and myself started before watching Point Break due to the famous line delivered by the insane/charming Gary Busey “Utah! get me two!” referring to the amount of meatball subs he needs during a morning stake out. Sadly Ethan couldn’t make it to this performance so I ate my sandwich in his honor. After the delicious subs we walked to the theater and were met by a Good Humor truck giving away free ice cream! It was amazing and we clearly indulged. With that I must mention I’m slightly lactose intolerant. After waiting in line to get in and grabbing a beer the culmination of the cheese-covered meatball sub and brick of ice cream I ate, my bowels wanted to have a word with me. So while casting the lucky crowd member as Johnny Utah I made my way to the bathroom and proceeded to spill half my drink while cleaning the toilet seat, but I saved the other half.

IMG_6141(I saved this half, yes I’m on the toilet)

The Show was hilarious and a fun time, they shot the crowd with water guns and had me doubled over in laughter the whole time.

IMG_6144(This dude playing Gary Busy’s charter Pappas was a madman)

When Point Break Live was done I decided to head to a poker game and try to make a little money. This turned out to be a good decision, half the players in the game were either high or drunk. I took full advantage of the situation and went home with a few hundred extra dollars. Oh and I didn’t go to bed until 4am, which isn’t ideal for real humans but alas I am not one of those. I played a few more poker sessions with mixed results but ultimately I’m up some money this week. I played at my favorite home game in Boston, up in New Hampshire with the dumpster people and Foxwoods (my old office). The trip to Foxwoods was a rough one, winning seemed impossible until 2am when I won a big pot and won back all the money I was down (roughly $300).

IMG_6206(comeback stack)

IMG_6154(dumpster people stack)

After that hand at Foxwoods I was up a few bucks and decided to make a break for it. All in all my game is solid but could use a a lot of work. Most of my poker winnings are going to the laptop fund and frivolous spending fund (but not by choice).

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(exhibit A)

FullSizeRender(6).jpg(exhibit B: Sandlot shirt)

FullSizeRender(5)(exhibit C: Kill Bill shirt, there are more but we’ll stop here)

Last summer I made it a point to make many beach trips (my goal was 20 but I came up short with 13) and this summer I’m blowing it big time. Here are the issues with that, I have softball in Boston on Saturdays and that dicks up my day pretty hard. Saturdays are the ideal beach day of course but driving from Beverly to Boston then back to the north shore leaves me at the beach around 4, which blows. That all changes this Saturday, I made a tacit agreement with myself and I’m fucking sipping cocktails while the waves crash in the distance. I have made some late day beach trips though. Me and my homegirl BB packed a cooler and hit the sand in lieu of deck drinks at a local watering hole. I also decided that jumping in the water was necessary, mostly because I needed to pee and it seemed like the best option. Sorry fish.

IMG_6107(BB was just hanging out in the hole for some reason, weird)

FullSizeRender(BB took this, that’s the ocean I peed in)

Summer and I also made a beach day attempt one faithful Saturday but after about 2 hours were met by rolling thunder storms and a rather comical torrential down-pouring of rain.  It was like a scene out of a shitty romantic comedy except it was just annoying and ruined my relaxing day of ogling Summer in a tiny bikini. The rain attempted to ruin our day but we decided to have adult beverages and I had a few too many on an empty tummy and have dialed back my alcohol consumption (*sips glass of whisky*) since that day. I like to enjoy a cocktail or 4 but it doesn’t need to be a regular thing so partying will be cut down a bit for old Matty McFly. Don’t fret folks, I’m fun sober and tipsy (I think).

FullSizeRender(4)(hahaha ok maybe that’s a little much)

IMG_3850(stock photo of me drinking…and looking like James fucking Bond)

Since we last sat down and had a heart to heart chat about my life and you listened intently, I have done some serious movie watching. One night I caught a midnight viewing of Drunken Master (1978) this is one of those old Jackie Chan movies that was remade after he became popular in America.

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IMG_6152(I feel that Jackie)

We watched the original and it was pretty great, I was coincidentally drunk during the viewing. Shane is a big kung fu fan so I met him and Keegan at the Brattle Theater for the flick. It was a fun kung fu festival of kicking and whatnot but it was WAY too long. Another faithful night Shane and myself kept with the theme of fighting and caught a midnight screening of Fight Club.

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The mighty Coolidge Corner theater (my favorite place on earth) was showing a 35mm print. The print was pretty banged up at points but it fit the theme of the movie and drew a really good crowd. I haven’t seen that movie on the big screen since its original theatrical release in 1999.

IMG_6197Myself and pile of kids I played hockey with saw the movie back then and foolishly decided to start our own fight club. Just a bunch of kids beating the piss out of each-other in my friend Luke’s basement. Very dumb. Next movie! While attempting to see Batman: The Killing Joke, Keegan and myself found ourselves on the wrong side of a sold out theater. We didn’t want to call it a wash so we went and saw Star Trek Beyond instead. It was no classic Batman comic realized on the big screen but it sure was a dope movie. I was never a Star Trek fan but these new movies are a fucking blast to watch. I highly recommend this third installment which was directed by Fast and the Furious’s Justin Lin. Last Monday I decided to finally go see the new Ghostbusters movie with my big bro Jamie. Jamie and I LOVED Ghostbusters growing up so I was nervous but he had high hopes. This movie is fucking awesome, I was dead wrong (pun) to doubt it.

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(Me and big bro)

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(get em girrrrlllsssss)

The cast was fantastic, the special effects were captivating and it was god damn hysterical. If you’re on the fence about this movie you should hop over and stop being a pansy. Sure it has some goofy parts but it’s a movie about catching ghosts, of course it has goofy parts. Well done ladies! I’m even going to see it AGAIN! This time in 3D and possibly while high on wacky tobacky. Also Kate McKinnon is the funniest person on Earth, hands down. While we’re on the topic of movies (I’m on this topic a lot) let’s discuss the trailers that were released at San Diego Comic Con.

They released a pile of trailers this year at comic con but I really only give a shit about two. First; Wonder Woman, this movie looks insane! Think Captain American: The First Avenger but make it a woman who is basically a god. The trailer had amazing action and Gal Gagot is nothing short of radiant and an utter bad ass. Another point for the ladies, I love it.

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(queen bad ass)

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(YASSSSS)

The second trailer that I clearly freaked out over was for Justice League and I’ve watched it over 20 times. First thoughts, it looks incredible but I felt the same way about the Batman V. Superman Dawn of Justice trailer and was slightly disappointed by the movie itself. Justice League appears to have adjusted and added a slight sense of humor, which the DC movies need. This trailer highlights Arthur Curry (Aquaman) played by the ultra hunk Jason Momoa having exchange with Bruce Wayne which leads to a great line of dialogue.

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IMG_6229(Flash)

IMG_6226(Aquahunk)

IMG_6230(you know)

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(get em)

I was bummed I couldn’t be at comic con, I’ll try again next year to get tickets. I went once a few years back and I had a fucking blast. Lucky for me  had a couple friends there who I asked to send me pics of the more choice highlights of the Con. Actually I just wanted pics of them with this Batman statue and they delivered.

FullSizeRender(2)(statue of Batman from Frank Miller’s epic Dark Knight Returns comic book)

IMG_6231(My homegirl Alex tracked him down VERY quickly while on break from her many many duties with Blizzard)

IMG_6147(look who my lovely friend Reena found!)

Speaking of Batman (I speak of that a lot) while in the process of writing this blog post I watched Batman: The Killing Joke and I wasn’t impressed. It was disjointed, the female lead wasn’t represented well and the ending was a letdown. Oh well! Bring on Suicide Squad!

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IMG_6177(I touched her boob, Joker was PISSED)

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(OK OK I’M SORRY)

Oh! You’re probably curious why I said all that jive about being famous when we started off today. Well, my episode of Wahlburgers aired last week! It’s called five card studs or something moronic like that. You can see the side of my face while Donnie is presenting a trophy to his uglier brother.

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IMG_6161(fame)

Soooooo me and Donnie are basically best friends now and we’re launching our own spin-off called Donnie love’s Matt where we plan celebrity vacations then join them and hilarity ensues. Kiddinggggggggggggggggg of course, but it was funny seeing my handsome mug on TV. Well, that should do it for this week, I’m finishing this post on my iPad while at a poker game. I need to focus on making some tuition money! Until next time folks, thanks for reading.

Keep smiling (even when you have to wait more than a year to see Justice League)

IMG_6178(we had slush day at work, I shamefully had 2 and my nails looks gross. sorry)

IMG_6218(Narragansett throwback cans, like from Jaws!)

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(seeeeeee)

Here comes from more pics from Justice League because fuck it.

IMG_6242(cyborg)

IMG_6244(The Flash)

IMG_6243(Bruce Wayne sitting)

IMG_6245(Bruce Wayne in action!)

IMG_6246Tomorrowwwwwwwwwwww

Bye folks!